Salamualikum -- sorry for not updating in a while. I met a girl and all my free time has been going to her.
I don't like to talk about ongoing relationships. My summary is she is definitely a great girl, and we both are interested in each other, but there are some serious obstacles involving family and the current circumstances we live in. We're both aware of the obstacles and are seeing if we can navigate them together.
The interesting thing about this girl is she knows about my blog and that I am the author. So things have been interesting.
One day she got a hold of my 'secret' journal. It's not really that secret. Anyways, in this journal I had some brainstorms of stuff I wanted to write about here.
One brainstorm was questions I had on Islam. Things I'd like to find answers for one day. I'd like to have answers to these questions before I have kids. Because I'm sure they're going to have similar questions.
She found them really interesting and asked me to post them here and see what people's views are. So here they are.
A word of caution: Some of these questions could be quite controversial. I would never ask them in public in a mosque because people might judge me in the wrong way. They might also negatively affect those with weak faith. Nevertheless, they are important issues and we shouldn't shy away from them. It really annoys me how it it seems like some of these questions are sidestepped or ignored by most scholars.
And here they are. My 5 Questions on Islam:
1. Evolution. What is Islam's official line of evolution? I hear so many different things. I'm confused. Some people say evolution is 100% incompatible and go on the side of Christian creationists. Other say Islam supports micro-evolution but not macro. Others say Islam supports evolution for all of creation except humans -- Adam and Eve could not have come from evolution. And then others say that since God exists out of time, whether it took an instant or a billion years of our time to create Adam and Eve doesn't matter. Time is another creation of God. God just says "Be" and things happen. From our point of view, it looks like God's command is taking billions of years to happen, but from his perspective it's done because he is not restricted by time.
What bugs me is that evolutionary psychology is being used almost everyday in the media and I don't know how to react to it. Some of it sounds like pure conjecture, while other times things seem logical.
2. Interest. What would a world economy look like if it followed Islamic rules? How will society benefit if interest was abolished? I think it's stupid to take loans to buy a fancy car or a house, but what about taking loans for investment purposes or to reduce your taxes? I think I know the answer to this "Interest is haram. Period. There's many Islamic financing options available." Probably, but it seems like most Islamic Financing alternatives wrap Interest under a different name. What would the world look like if everyone used Islamic financing? Would it be the same? Also, many Islamic Finance providers are not as professional or competitive than normal banks.
I guess I already know the answer to this question. Interest is haram. But it's hard to navigate life in the western world without getting involved in Interest. We need more solutions to this problem, and Muslims must become agenda setters in the financial world or else life will become even harder for us.
2. Gender Relations. Believe it or not, I am still confused on relationships with the female gender.
Before I was looking to get married, the rule I followed was simple and effective: No female friends. I only have relationships with females for the purposes of school, community work, or business. This worked great.
But things got confusing once I began my marriage search. For marriage purposes, I want to know more females. The 'get your family/friends to hook you up' thing sucks to some extent. I want to get to know a girl without her knowing that I'm interested in her for marriage.
And I get mixed signals from Muslim community gatherings. On the one hand we have walls seperating men and women, and then on the other hand I see free mingling from time to time. I feel guilty everytime I talk to a girl.
It just seems that total separation of men and women is unhealthy. And it doesn't seem like there was total separation in the early days of Islam.
5. Slave Girls. Islam permits me to buy a slave girl and have sex with her. What's the point of me toiling to find that one wife for life, when if I lived 500 years ago, I could've just bought me a few slave girls to provide companionship and sex? And if I didn't like a slave girl, I could just sell her and be done with her without having to go through a painful divorce. Sorry for being so direct. I'm just too lazy right now to be politically correct.
There are some good explanations for #5. Like society was so dependent on Slavery, Islam couldn't abolish it out right but instead gradually got rid of it. Or like society was not developed enough to have jails for prisoners of war, so POWs had to go into slavery, etc...but I'm still a little pissed. I want my slave girl.
I actually have a sixth question, but am too burnt out to talk about it. The last few months have been quite stressful.
Ok, I'm done. Everyone here now probably thinks I'm some evil hypocritical pig. I'm sorry. I'm actually a good guy. My friends like me. I pray regularly. Never had haram relationships with girls. And my mom loves me dearly.
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26 comments:
Where did you hear the "slave girl" thing from? I'm pretty sure that's ONLY if you're legally married to her! Isn't there a verse in the Qur'an about how one should not force slave-girls to have sex?
Anyway, I've wondered about the rest of your questions as well. Maybe try asking a scholar on Sunnipath.com or something?
Yay! Glad to see you're back! Best of luck with the lady in question :)
I have had that slave girl question too - it appears to be so simple!
I love your numbering ;)
Great post, I think you hit it on all 4 of your '5' questions. Especially the slave girl one man. I'm with you. Although in the abstract I would love to have on when you read articles like the one below and see that it is almost possible if you really want one you change your mind real quick.
http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/Story?id=5326508
Anyways keep us updated insha Allah!
Salams
Sahih Muslim
Book 043, Number 7180:
Jabir reported that 'Abdullah b. Ubayy b. Salul used to say to his slave-girl: Go and fetch something for us by committing prostitution. It was in this connection that Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, revealed this verse:" And compel not your slave-girls to prostitution when they desire to keep chaste in order to seek the frail goods of this world's life, and whoever compels them, then surely after their compulsion Allah is Forgiving, Merciful" (xxiv. 33).
Book 043, Number 7181:
Jabir reported that 'Abdullah b. Ubayy b. Salul had two slave-girls; one was called Musaika and the other one was called Umaima and he compelled them to prostitution (for which'Abdullah b. Ubayy b. Salul compelled them). They made a complaint about this to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and it was upon this that this verse was revealed:" And compel not your slave-girls to prostitute" up to the words:" Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."
wiki has something on this. don't know how reliable it is though
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ma_malakat_aymanukum
YOU REALLY WROTE ABOUT ME!!! YAY
too bad you hate meeee :-P
wa alaikum as salaam - i just found ur blog recently - and mashallah i really like it. I can relate to just about everything ive read thus far. Its refreshing to see like-minded people out there.
i'A i hope everything works out for u and this girl uve found. Please keep the rest of us bros "on the quest for the sweet one" in ur duas and continue to share ur experiences/wisdom, haha
About those issues uve raised, particularly the evolution one - its something ive studied quite extensively - and like you said - ull get different responses from different people.
But at the end of the day - i would argue that islam has no official stance on evolution. The scientific methods and all attempts to define reality as far as science sees it - is limited to that only which is quantifiable and attainable via our five senses. The matters of divine creation are beyond science as we perceive it. Therefore there's essentially no reason to even question or worry about how human kind evolved originally just like theres no reason to attempt to scientifically measure how in fact Allah (swt) blows his own divine ruh into the fetus at X# of weeks, etc.
I would stay away from the creationism bs thats masqueraded as science from "christian scientists" or those from the like of Harun Yahya - because their science is very lacking. No one can argue against micro evolution, and much of evolutionary psychology is very valid.
I hope that helps.
I think it should be noted that Darwin himself did not specifically state that humans evolved - he says in his book (if anyone would care to actually read it for themselves) that evolution makes sense with everything BUT humans.
It was his followers, Huxley and co - who founded University College London who took the theory to the status we know today.
One must also remember that we have no idea of time or how creation takes place: evolution says millions of years - but time is a human creation. So a million years is our time.
I have so much to say on your questions - I would recommend that you split them up and deal with them one by one...
www.whyislam.org
1-877-whyislam
Wa alaikum salaam!
Welcome back! These are very good questions! I actually have the very same questions...the slave girl question is one that has been bothering me for sometime now (since I was 11 or 12). As for the gender relations question, I also share your confusion and just finished posting about it on my blog (but of course have not come to a conclusion yet).
Insha'Allah I wish you the best with sister "Happy Hijaabi" is it?
Salaams.
Salaam brother, great post.
Re; the ongoing issues...
I have also been having what I term as "ongoing issues" with a suitable prospect.
The issue I have is that I'm happy, she's happy - we both seem to fit the respective bills perfectly.
I go home and tell the family: "I have found her elhamdulilah!"
Instead of the happiness and the parades I was expecting (seeing as they are so keen on my being married), instead I was met with objection after objection.Her story was the same.
Moral of the story: families want us to marry whom they choose not whom we choose.
I spoke to a few friends about it and in 90% of scenarios - the families get irate about being left out of the matchmaking.
The reason I am saying this bro, is that if this is the issues you are facing: dont worry about it and go ahead anyway.
In almost all cases of familial rejection - the couple came through and the family ended up loving the person they chose in the end.
An economy that follows Islamic rules would be like Saudi Arabia?I
I suppose the next question would be the link between Saudi's income and the source of it...the source being interest in other countries...
Also, around 500 years ago there would not have been interest so no going up the social food chain...
wow u have a really interesting blog.
It makes no sense to explain verses and revelations according to the "at the time" principle (i.e. you cant say pork ws not allowed because "at the time" etc etc) because God is all knowing, all wise - he knows past present and future, so revelations are not simply "for the time" but forever.
Having sex with slave girls is morally wrong: sex slaves stll exist today - those poor women...all you need to do is go to Amsterdam to see the horror and misery. Its just wrong.
At the end of the day, we cannot truly truly know which verses were revealed to the prophet (peace be upon him) and what was written down. I know thats a shocking thing to say, but it may just be possible that what God says and what the book says may not be exactly in accordance with eachother.
While the questions may be controversial, they are important, as you said. It is very important that you find the right person to ask, someone who is qualified to answer your questions.
There have been questions that nagged at me in the past, and alhamdulilah they have been answered to my complete satisfaction.
I was hoping to find the website for you that might be able to answer your questions, but unfortunately I couldn't pin it down.
But if you can get in contact with the Fiqh Council of North America, I think you might get some answers that you need. Dr. Jamal Badawi is on the council, and he is an amazing scholar, mashallah. He answered the questions that were on my mind, and his answers made perfect sense. The website I found was http://www.fiqhcouncil.org. Maybe you can find some contact information on there.
salaams.
great questions...and i see a variety of answers too!
as for the evolution...islam doesn't agree with it. in islam it is said that allah created adam with His hand and then Eve from adam's rib and then from them came the children. so there could not have been an evolution from anything --> adam. it would go against the quran. (not sure if that is the evolution ur referring to)
as for the gender relations... the previous manner you have had of "female friends for work school etc." is islamically correct and alhamdulilah for maintaining that...but when it comes to marriage you cant just shun the girl away and observe from afar. thats why there are the steps of reading the "fatiha" and getting to know each other properly with the family knowing (no secrets) and then inshallah may allah bring the best! :)
lastly...about the "slave girl" (which the terminology kinda isn't all too great)...that is a rule that ONLY applied in times of war with specific rules that followed. and ALLAH subhana wa taala said (as a strong message to those muslims who did have "malakaat") release a slave...release a slave (in arabic its fekko raqaba) and the ajer or thawab you will receive is far greater than what you can imagine...
SO WHAT WOULD A SMART MUSLIM DO? keep a slave that was a war victim or release her/him to receive Allah's bounty?
inshallah that helps. tried to keep it short =/
The answers to your questions brother are simple:
There is Gods word - Torah, Injeel, Quran. Read them all and you will have no confusions about the right and wrong path. A clear message appears. God is very pro things - pro forgiveness, pro love, pro life, pro brotherhood, pro good things. God activates things and gives life to them.
There is mans word - Sharia, Hadith, Dogma in general. Man is very anti things. Anti mixing, anti romance, anti love, anti compassion, anti tolerance, anti understanding, anti forgiveness (more often than not), anti a lot of things. Man prevents things and controls them - regulates and institutionaises them and puts a man at the top - holding the reigns.
Mix the aforementioned elements together with a third: culture.
Put it in a catalyst called "language" - and watch it go.
And there you are...a load of mixed up rules that no moral person can reasonably justify, but fear to question.
God is real and this is evident from all that is around us. We dont need textbooks to realise that.
And good and bad are clear, very clear. We barely need textbooks to cover that either.
But man belives that man must rule.
My meaning here is implied, ponder-food if you like.
I think once again, you have really hit a huge topic with people. I think you already know how I feel about the slave girl thing and all of the other questions but I'm curious what is the 6th question?! huh?
I totally agree to the anon. Comment that is right above mine how god is "pro" and man kind is "con" and that couldn't really be any more
correct. mankind does put limitations on everything even on what allah has allowed. it's sad
On the other anon, regarding family issues, that's not even the right issues regarding our family matters and i would say that Quest's family, to my knowledge is AWESOME. It's just that My family, is not-so-awesome. I'll leave that for Quest to discuss later if things work out inshallah or if I am destined to have the same fate as the "busy girls" and that facebook girl.. LMAO since he's not one to talk about ongoing relationships until the fate is sealed so to speak.
But things look pretty good :-P regardless of the ongoing issues
Salam Alaikom,
-I believe that your questions should have been directed to insightful religous person.You can also search for answers yourself through books.Raising your doubts in the public is not a right thing either. Other than the seperation between males and females, your questions are deep faith questions. Having doubts about the answers is your own problem that you need to work on.Rather than indirectly sending wrong signals to ppl with average faith or new to religion!!
I strongly recommend you the books of sheikh al -Ghazali..especially his books:100 questions about islam, and his other book about woman in islam. These two books are really answering alot of the questions that one might have and be hesitant to ask. Also, it teaches you that islam is about aligning man with his/her human nature without exageration.
- The complete seperation between males and females is one of the most stupid and hypocrite things that I have seen among muslim communities in the west. I quote here the words of Sheikh el-ghazali about this issue saying what means:"it is a stupid thing to tell a muslim student in the west he is not allowed to talk to his muslim sister(within limits,ofcourse) while this kid is free to mix and mingle with other non-muslim students. Simply a seperate male /female society doesnot answer the question how a poor guy who doesnot have family or friends connection is going to marry.
After long journey of search,I came to conclusion that islam we are practicing now is not really what is it.It is a shallow version of it without any depth.People listen to the quran to cry not to take guidance in life.
The same goes with other issues you raised such as the interests.
"Islam permits me to buy a slave girl and have sex with her"
What on earth are you talking about, you are allowed to marry a slave whether you are a man or woman, you cannot force anyone to have sex with you.
Anon that is directly above this comment.
OMG he didn't mean it that way. He's just saying in the past history there have been situaitions where "people" ( i dont know who, Im sure he thinks it's somewhere in the qur'an ) have deemed it acceptable or permitted or something to have sex with a slave, probably has to fall on the line that a slave is your property or something.. I dont know
Personally Quest does not want to have sex with any slave or anything ... he's not trying to force anything like that. but the fact that that was kinda mentioned made me laugh so hard that I fell off my chair
he's a good guy.. I swear
"Im sure he thinks it's somewhere in the qur'an"
I curious to know what verse(s) he is referring too
Quest,
I am curious to read your thoughts on the article in this month's In Focus on the difficulties that Muslim men in America face in finding a suitable wife. I am eagerly awaiting your next post!
As-salaamu alaykum!
Evolution and Islam: http://www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/nuh/evolve.htm
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